Often when I’m feeling stuck I take a long walk on city streets close to where I live in the East Bay. Recently, my potential wanderings were thwarted when construction trucks were blocking my car and I didn’t want to ask them to move, figuring I had the freedom (i.e., fresh unemployment) to do all I wanted the next day. But then the next day my mood/vibe was off and I felt myself just going through the motions. Anyway, to kickstart the malaise I got a deliciously fluffy and not-at-all overpriced vegan cinnamon doughnut at a great plant-based coffee shop. The barista was also not impressed by me or my forced cheeriness. Thankfully carbs and sugar never disappoint.
It was a beautiful, sunny day with a winter chill, and lots of folks were walking, some with dogs or friends, some masked, some awkwardly avoiding other pandestrians (aka, pandemic pedestrians, or people walking as an escape from the last two years) on the sidewalk. I like to stroll College Avenue because it has a Mayfairian mix of stores and restaurants down one long, straight road–perfect for walking without needing to navigate or plan.
I popped into one of my favorite boutiques to find a t-shirt for my friend’s cute kid, complimenting the shopkeeper on her store’s ability to lighten my mood. I was feeling especially chatty with strangers today, as I also confessed (somewhat generously) to the young guy selling me a Dim Sum Cookie at the tiny French-inspired, Asian-American bakery that I had made up an errand in the area just so I could buy this very cookie.
“Are you working today?” he asked.
“No, I’ve been newly freed from work!” I gleefully replied.
“Nice!” he said. “Enjoy!”
Then I wondered if he thought I’d been fired or had recently retired, and I got irrationally offended at both thoughts.
A few minutes later I roamed the aisles of a wine shop I liked solely based on the witty, irreverent newsletters they send. Again, I chatted up the purveyor, praising the wine descriptions (more kudos to their in-house writer) and admonishing him for making the decision process so hard. He sold me a few bottles of no- and low-alcohol wines (shh, a topic for another time), encouraging me to attend Saturday’s comedy night in the alley. I didn’t have the heart to say that I never go out on Saturdays anymore, but the booze-lite purchase should’ve been a clue.
Bottles of wineless wine and cute tee in tow, I headed to the Hotsy Totsy in Albany. I love visiting Hotsy in the daytime and I was actually required to do so this week by my therapist. She had advised me to “do something that makes no sense,” after my challenging year of work ended the week prior.
“Like, tell Andrew you’re taking the car and then drive to Monterey,” she said. “Just for the hell of it. Or…”
“Go day drinking?” I suggested. She laughed.
“Yes, sure,” she said.
My orders were given.
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